In this episode we are moving in a new direction.  This will be the first of several episodes that looks at the question 'What is healthy sprituality?'  We do not have to look far to see examples of bad spirituality, so it is important to know what the good kind looks like.  Before we can answer that question, though, we must look at several issues.  First, what is religion?  What is faith?  Is spirituality different from religion and faith?

     In this first installment, we will look at a couple of definitions of religion, one positive and one negative.  We will learn something from each that helps us get closer to a workable understanding of what is religion.

This new series is based on my new book "Why Are We Here?' which can be viewed at

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Are-We-Here-Seeing/dp/0578073749/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312128443&sr=1-7

    Perhaps the ultimate question we all face is do we survive beyond death?  In the context of this series, the question would become 'Does love survive beyond death?'  Many of you listening have lost loved ones, as have I.  You cannot help but wonder does the love we still feel for the ones we lost tell us anything?  Is it futile to still love someone who is no longer here, or is it a sign of something beyond this life?

     In the the next episode we will start a new series about faith and spirituality, based on my recent book WHY ARE WE HERE?

     In this episode, we will look at a love that is closely related Marital Love, which is Family love.  I offer a suggested definition of family love and then examine it phrase by phrase.  Not everyone who is in a marriage chooses to have children, but for those who do, my suggested definition might be helpful.

     In the next episode, we will look at the question of whether or not love survives beyond death.

This podcast series is based on my book, The Six Faces of Love, which can be viewed at

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000279633

Hear my original music at http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

     When is a marriage no longer workable?  This is a difficult question to answer in a short podcast.  I discuss the spirituality of marital love to offer a suggested answer to the question.  I look at two common mistakes couples make regarding the spiritual stages and rates of spiritual growth of their partners. Very seldom are a husband and wife at the spiritual stages or experiencing spiritual growth at the same rate.   Failing to understand these two things can cause stress in a marriage that is completely unnecessary.  I also offer one measure of the health of a marriage regarding both partners' approach to each other's spiritual growth. 

     In the next episode we will look at family love, one that is closely related to but not the same as marital love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at:

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000279633

Check out my original music at

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen





     When is a couple ready to get married?  In the past, one answer was that individuals must first do therapy and become emotionally mature before they should get married.  When I gave pre-marital counseling to couples and tried to use this answer, I found something unusual.  No couple I counseled seemed to meet this test, where both people had completley reached emotional maturity.  I discuss how I modified my approach in counseling engaged couples, changing the 'therapuetic' model that was unrealistic in its demands.

     Next time we will look at two closely related questions: How do you keep a marriage going? and How do you know when a marriage will no longer work?

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen



     In this episode, we begin one of several in a series on what is marital and family love?  These first few will focus on what is marital love.  We begin by recalling Peter and Cheryl, the couple we looked at in the episodes about romantic love.  Peter and Cheryl have worked through there problems, and now they desire to stay together indefinitely.  Are they ready for marriage?  I suggest a definition of marital love to help answer the question Peter and Cheryl are facing about should they get married.  In my definition I suggest that companionship is the heart of marital love.

     How can a couple reach the point of being ready for marriage?  This is the question we will take up in the next episode.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

     In this episode we look at joyful faith and how it impacts the experience of community love.  Joyful faith is focused more on the future and our efforts to become better people.  The joy in joyful faith comes from the belief that God gives us the strength and guidance to become more than we are at our worst.  In contrast, fearful faith focuses on our sinfulness, imperfections and failures.  The key values of joyful faith are forgiveness and reconciliation, the two values I have used in my definition of community love.  In comparison, fearful faith has the key values of anger, judgment, and exclusiveness.  Jane's rejection of her life long friend Laura shows that Jane is acting out of fearful faith.  Perhaps Jane would have kept her friendship with Laura if Jane had experienced joyful faith instead of fearful faith.

     In the next episode we will begin several installments on what are marriage and family love.

     In this episode, we look at fearful faith and how it can have a negative impact upon community love.  Fearful faith usually has an image of God as being angry and judgmental of sinful humans.  Unless we believe the right things, we are all condemned to eternal punishment.  While this kind of faith is quite common, it creates problems for the experience of community love.  Anger and judgmentalness may become the primary values of community love as practiced by a group that believes in fearful faith.  Jane's rejection of her lifelong friend Laura shows that Jane has fearful faith.  Anger and judgmentalness are directed at Laura by Jane, which may be the key values in Jane's religious community. 

     In the next episode we will look at joyful faith, which can provide a more positive experience of community love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen 

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

     In the last epsiode, we examined Jane's mistaken belief that she could only be friends with people who shared her religious beliefs.  In this episode, we will look at another, but related, mistaken belief.  Jane believes that she should be friends with everyone within her religious community.

     Many religious people assume since everyone in their religious community shares the same beliefs, then they can all be friends with one another.  This reflects confusion between fellowship and friendship, which are not the same.  Assuming that everyone within a religous community can be friends becomes dangerous when friendship is forced upon people within a group.  When intimacy is forced upon people, they will develop feelings of anger and resentment.  While people may stifle their feelings of anger and resentment, they will still come out in destructive ways, both within the group and in attitudes towards nonbelievers outside of the group.

     In the next episode we will look at the root of Jane's confusion, the kind of faith she is experiencing.  The kind of faith one experiences will greatly impact the quality of the community love one shares with others.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

     Last time we explored the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation.  Now we can begin to look at how Jane has gone wrong in her understanding of community.  Jane has the mistaken, and dangerous, belief that she can only be friends with people who have the same religious beliefs as her.  When Laura would not see things her way, Jane rejected her as an unworthy friend.  Such an exclusive attitude can be very destructive of relationships between family and friends.  At the extreme it can lead to violence and loss of life.  Based on Jane's behavior towards Laura, it is clear that Jane's religious community does not focus upon the values of forgiveness and reconciliation.

     Like many people of faith Jane confuses friendships and community love.  We will take a closer look at this mistaken belief of Jane's next time.

 This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen